I’m so dead on the inside. All I can think of is cutting me, because I’m a worthless, fat piece of shit. There’s nothing that could make it any better, so I think the pain will stay forever.
I always compare myself to other people and I know I will never be that intelligent, that thin or that attractive as they are. This thoughts put a lot of pressure on me, because I still try to achieve it. And I fail. Every fucking day.
I hate the way I am, I hate the way I’m talking and moving. I hate how I look and I hate my weight. I hate that I can’t do the things I want to do, because I’m unable to get the power for doing it. I hate that I’ve got so dull, that I’ve lost my interests. I just hate myself for existing.
Although I hate myself for so many reasons (and even more) I don’t wanna die, I just want to stop existing, being a shadow, but I don’t know how to manage this. Of course I can’t ask anyone how to do it, because everyone will say ‘You’re worth of living. You are intelligent.’ and blahblahblah, but I’m not even alive! So I really wanna know, how can I stop existing without killing myself?
Magical pond that changes color with the weather
Kent Shiraishi took these photos of the Blue Pond, a beautiful body of water in Hokkaido, Japan. Blue Pond receives so much attention because of its shimmering blue hue, which changes into a lovely green in certain light. This pond owes its colors to aluminium hydroxide, a mineral which reflects blue light.
lower me gently to the floor, then unhand me